Operation Big Zucchini Begins in Iraq

Iraqi general seeks U.S. garden training until 2020

August 31, 2010

U.S. combat operations ended today in Iraq with the sunset of Operation Iraqi Freedom and the dawn of Operation Big Zucchini. Though U.S. tanks still rumble across the desert floor, their function has shifted from fighting to cultivating hefty squash.

"Some of these summer squash can grow to pretty good size," said President Obama. "This is true. But our soldiers will do a good job. These are Green Thumb Berets."

Obama noted that zucchinis roadblock U.S. gardens every summer and that Iraq has ample open space. "This is not a combat mission," Obama said. "This is a clean, green export that we can be proud of. But if the insurgents start using zucchinis as a cover for IEDs, then we'll have to reevaluate our mission."

Iraqi Lt. Gen. Babakir Zebari welcomed the continued presence of 50,000 American troops. "We need zucchini bread until at least 2020," Zebari said. "I have several recipes I want to try."

Some of the zucchinis were already big enough to create shade for hot, thirsty camels.

—James Dunn
Click for more humor