Boy with Slingshot Nabs Osama bin Laden
7-year-old wants $50 million reward in Kit Kats
June 15, 2010
Timmy Faulkner, a talkative lad from Denver, Colorado, captured elusive terror chief Osama bin Laden armed only with a slingshot after traveling to Pakistan with his dad, Gary Brooks Faulkner. The father was arrested when he was spotted at midnight alongside a highway wearing night vision goggles while cleaning sand from between his toes. Pakistani police had no idea that the 7-year-old boy was hiding in nearby bushes when they found Timmy's father.
"I played Plants vs. Zombies for practice on the computer and my dad got me a slingshot for my birthday," Timmy said. "My dad said bin Laden was a zombie so we had to get him. If we did, he said I would get my own reality TV show."
The U.S. government has long promised a reward of up to $50 million to anyone who could capture bin Laden alive or dead. "My friends and I can buy Kit Kats," Timmy said of his plans for the reward money. "Is that a lot of Kit Kats?"
An Air Force pilot in an Apache helicopter patrolling over Chitral in northwest Pakistan near the Afghanistan border spotted Timmy holding bin Laden at bay with the loaded slingshot. "It was a pretty big rock," Timmy said of the weapon. "He didn't have a chance. But if he had put up a fight, I had a plastic sword in the belt of my shorts."
"We've been hunting down the Al Qaeda leader for nine long years," said President Obama in a press briefing. "Little Timmy is a true patriot. We'll invite the lad to the White House to pet Bo, our Portuguese water dog. But no Kit Kats for Bo."
—James Dunn
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