Thanks for Pizzing on Brixx Pizza
Waitress fumes on Facebook about customer's $5 tip, fired by restaurant
Parody, May 17, 2010
Brixx Pizza in North Carolina fired waitress Ashley Johnson earlier this month after she allegedly griped on her Facebook page about a customer who lingered at a table for about three hours then tipped her only $5. "Thanks for eating at Brixx, you cheap piece of ---- camper," she was quoted in a story by the Charlotte Observer.
Brixx managers cited company policy against speaking disparagingly about customers or casting aspersions on Brixx on social networks. After the story broke, Brixx's own Facebook page was layered with extra toppings: scorn, derision, vows by former customers never to eat there again.
Apparently Johnson didn't cite the camping customer by name or even make fun of his tent. But she did mention the name of the pizzeria. From the managers' viewpoint, the right to rant is lesser than the privilege to work.
The incident points to the need for new social nastiness sites online, FaceOffBook or TrashTwit, where pizzed off people can trade jabs without taking up court time. Imagine the possible post of an under-tipping diner: "Thanks for spitting on my pepperoni and dripping hot coffee on my crotch, you miserable wretch of a twaitperson."
The popularity of TV reality shows such as Judge Judy's small claims court proves that there's a ready market for FaceOffBook. Visitors online could kvetch about ex-spouses and girl/boyfriends, about real or perceived snubs at work, and any other foul vapors of life. Snipers could be judged on pure trashy nastiness and vitriolic style, with Worst Stench awards given monthly. The ugliest cases could audition for a new rotten reality series on TV called America's Got To Rant. The vented steam could be used to power turbines and generate electricity.
—James Dunn
Click for more humor
