U.S. Buys Greece, Creates Grecian Motors (GM) and 51st State
Greece too old to fail, Obama states
Parody, May 10, 2010
On Mother's Day, as the European Union rallied to approve a nearly $1 trillion bailout of debt-plagued countries of the 16-member group, Papa Obama stepped up as world hero and engineered a deal to have the United States buy Greece.
"Greece is too old to fail," Obama said. The Fed has arranged for America to purchase Greece and tow it across the ocean to the East Coast where it will become the 51st state positioned just east of New York. The headquarters of General Motors will be moved and merge with the capitol of Greece, and the bankrupt automaker will be renamed Grecian Motors.
Obama has appointed Alec Baldwin as acting governor of the state of Greece. "Baldwin has the tough love attitude to get Grecians back to work," Obama said.
"You Greeks are rude, thoughtless little pigs," Governor Baldwin said in a cell phone voice mail during a break from filming his new TV series 30 Crock. "You need to slim down economically and not gobble up so much porkin' debt."
Some 40 percent of Greeks work for the government, and about the same percentage of Greeks smoke cigarettes. "We plan to change the Grecian urn to Grecian EARN as a symbol of change," Obama said. "Our effort to bring back Grecian Motors will help the country bounce back. Every Greek citizen will be given a chance to work for GM and earn a new Saturn. Plus I'll be able to make a quick helicopter trip to the Parthenon any time I want to jet out for a smoke, and no one will judge me for it, not even health care reform advocates."
Stock markets worldwide soared on the Greece acquisition news.
"Broke is the new normal," said Greece president Karolos Papoulias. "Obama is the new Zeus. We will myth him when he's out of offyth."
—James Dunn
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