Playful columns by:
James Dunn

Biz 101 North



Biz coverage since 1989


"I am ze tennis doubles agent . . . ze double agent. I like spying for ze Kremlinsky."

—Anna Kournikova


"Pheromones from New York's feral cats are the sexiest substances on earth, at least for cats."

—Ann Gottlieb, Calvin Klein


"I do like pain-a-whole-lotta flavor. And this
I-scream session is beneficial for high school girls."

—Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke


"Dunn was wrong about me. I did not borrow $1 quadrillion. It was more like $1.2 quadrillion. OK, I bought Greece, but it was a bargain. Jeez. So what if I wanted to smoke on the Parthenon?"

—Barack Obama


"I am in favor of
the Fed printing
$1 sextillion."

—Pamela Anderson


"Dunn, you're fired. No, you can be a judge on my next Miss USA pageant. No, you're fired."

—The Donald Trump


"Al was not inconvenient in bed, as Dunn claimed. It's just that Tiny Tim's son warms my globes and my tulips."

—Tipper Gore


"I do like frog legs. And I have made a lotta green."

—Paul McCartney


"My brother and I have invented a machine to separate oil from Waterworld. If you believe that, then let me show you how to dance with foxes."

—Kevin Costner


"I am not a Scienfullofit. Did he really call me that? A Scienfullofit? Let me check with Katie . . . it’s OK. I AM a Scienfullofit. Katie says so, too."

—Tom Cruise


"Dunn can handle the truth. Tom Cruise cannot handle the truth."

—Jack Nicholson


"It was the top of my crib."

—Toddler who climbed Everest